Job Requirements: A Supervillain\u2019s Advice<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Grow up near a secret nuclear testing site.
\nThink Hanford, Washington. Oak Ridge,
\nTennessee. North and South Dakota
\nare riddled with them. Your father \u2013 is he
\nan eccentric scientist of some sort? Did you
\nshow early signs of a \u201csupergenius\u201d IQ?
\nExperience isolation from \u201cnormal\u201d childhood
\nactivities? (Multiple traumatic incidents welcome.)
\nPhysical limitations, such as an unusual but poetic
\ndisease or deformity due to mutation, are preferred;
\nproblems due to accidents involving powerful
\nnew weaponry or interactions with superheroes
\nare also acceptable. (Develop flamboyant
\ncriminal signatures. Adopt antisocial poses.)
\nFashionable knack for skin-tight costumes
\n(masks, hooks, extra long nails) considered a plus.
\nStudy jujitsu or krav maga.
\nPractice creative problem solving;
\nfor example, that lipstick could be poisoned,
\nthat spiked heel a stabbing implement.
\nRemember, you are on the side
\nof the laws of thermodynamics. Entropy
\nis a measure of disorder.
\nChaos, destruction, death: these are your instruments.
\nUse them wisely. You are no mere mortal.
\nDon\u2019t lose your cool if captured; chances are,
\nyou can already control minds, bend metal to your whim,
\nproduce, in your palms, fire.
\nIn the end you are the reason we see the picture;
\nwe mistrust the tedium of a string of sunny days.
\nWe like to watch things crumble.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
“Job Requirements: A Supervillain’s Advice” is republished from Becoming the Villainess <\/a><\/em>(Steel Toe Books, 2006).<\/p>\n Jeannine Hall Gailey<\/a> is the brand-new Poet Laureate of Redmond,<\/a> and the author of Becoming the Villainess<\/a><\/em> (Steel Toe Books, 2006) and She Returns to the Floating World<\/em> <\/a>(Kitsune Books, 2011.) Her poems were featured on NPR\u2019s The Writer\u2019s Almanac <\/a>and on Verse Daily;<\/a><\/em> two were included in 2007\u2019s The Year\u2019s Best Fantasy and Horror.<\/em> Her poems have appeared in The Iowa Review, The Cincinnati Review,<\/em> and Prairie Schooner.<\/em> She volunteers as an editorial consultant for Crab Creek Review,<\/a><\/em>reviews poetry for The Rumpus,<\/em> and currently teaches at the MFA program at National University.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Job Requirements: A Supervillain\u2019s Advice Grow up near a secret nuclear testing site. Think Hanford, Washington. Oak Ridge, Tennessee. North and South Dakota are riddled with them. Your father \u2013 is he an eccentric scientist of some sort? Did … Continue reading