1
\nthis is a self portrait
\nabout what constrains me
\nwhat keep me from my happiness<\/p>\n
i’ve been at peace in a balanced place
\n& i’ve been wildly happy when the scales were tipped toward paradise so long as i have something to explore<\/p>\n
2
\ni’m chasing a certain kind of knowledge
\na certain kind of awake<\/p>\n
the art of living
\nwill flower from me one day<\/p>\n
3
\nno matter how sparse it seems
\ni can alter the world to get what i need<\/p>\n
what constrains me
\nis the doubt of no reply
\ni’m having transparent dreams again
\nit all means nothing<\/p>\n
4
\nmy view of myself is distorted
\nbut perhaps distorting is defining
\n& defacing can unveil<\/p>\n
5
\nsustainable
\nwhat does that mean?<\/p>\n
food water purpose
\nthat’s what i’m looking for<\/p>\n
the buddhists ensure me
\ni come readymade with purpose
\nbut sometimes it seems unso<\/p>\n
6
\nno is not a happy place
\nno is a hole in a trampoline
\nyes is about freedom choices time
\nyes is an engine<\/p>\n
7
\nwhat keeps me from making
\nthe work i know i need to make?
\nthe inevitable thing?
\nthe only thing? the way forward?
\nconfidence single mindedness definition<\/p>\n
8
\nlack of focus holds me back
\n20 things i feel lukewarm about
\nor the one thing that sets me on fire
\ni try to listen to the nagging thing
\nmongolia mongolia mongolia<\/p>\n
9
\nsince wealth denies me
\npoverty will have to define me
\nwithout money i make different art
\nuse fewer materials
\nan artist doesn’t need to make a thing
\nan artist can suggest a thing
\ni’ve learned to be suggestive
\nto take people partway
\nwhich leaves them work to do
\nfor which they must move & grow<\/p>\n
10
\nwhat do i fear?
\ni fear getting rid of everything
\n& walking away like a penitent
\nso that’s exactly what i want to do<\/p>\n
i fear stasis & wasting time
\n& that is not what i want to do
\nbut i know it is good for me
\nboats grant me that
\nso i have a boat<\/p>\n
i fear not being brilliant
\n& there is no cure for that<\/p>\n
11
\ni want to have nothing to take
\nso i have nothing to lose<\/p>\n
boredom is also freedom
\nbut boredom is a luxury
\nthat must be bought<\/p>\n
12
\ni want the freedom that comes with poverty i want a red sweater & time to see it unravel one peach should matter more than a crate full of peaches<\/p>\n
13
\ni make meaning to correct the world
\ndoes it need correcting? no
\nwhat needs changing? i do
\nwhat resists change? i do<\/p>\n
14
\nwhen i feel myself getting diluted by society i retreat & ask myself who am i? what do i want?
\ni quickly realize i do not want
\nwhat others want
\nthis helps<\/p>\n
15
\nwhat stalls my art?
\na never ending trip to the mirror
\ntrap doors falling floors
\nthe committee of should
\nexpectations lovers nostalgia misunderstandings these same things drive my art<\/p>\n
16
\ni do not wish to make of my art a business i can live without everything but meaning though i do need to see a dentist<\/p>\n
17
\nto what am i bound? on what do i rely?
\nwhere are my buffers? am i too comfortable?
\nease heat music walls the known thing.. get rid of these<\/p>\n
18
\nthe stuff i found in the center of my spirit took away my reasons for making art for 6 months i made nothing why would i do this or that superficial thing when i knew what i knew about spirit?
\nit might be good & clever but who cares
\nthis isn’t about clever
\nthis is about growth<\/p>\n
19
\nmy art
\nis it pure?
\nis it relevant?
\ndoes it change anything?
\nwhat needs changing? i do
\nwhat resists change? i do<\/p>\n
20
\ni have trouble making connections
\nbetween my emotions & experiences
\nthere are no real lines between money & work a vocation is a vocation is a vocation<\/p>\n
what constrains me defines me
\nthank you for seeing this<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
A K Mimi Allin<\/a> has twice crossed the Pacific Ocean by boat, has worked as a climbing ranger on Mt Rainier and has served in the Peace Corps. Allin lives and works as an artist in Seattle WA. She holds an MA in Writing from The City College of New York. Her performance-installations have premiered at the Seattle Art Museum, The Olympic Sculpture Park, Bumbershoot, Smoke Farm, Tether Gallery, Artscapes, ArtSparks, Arts Crush, Guiding Lights, ACT Theatre and Litfuse in Tieton. In 2006, Mimi became a household name for her yearlong project \u201cThe Poetess at Green Lake.\u201d<\/a> In January 2010, she fulfilled a self-designed residency at NBBJ Design & Architecture Firm to become the nation\u2019s 1st Corporate Poet.<\/a> And in the summer of 2011, she drew a line around 14,410′ Mount Rainier with her body to effect “Tahoma Kora,”<\/a> a 36-mile, 65-day prostrating circumnavigation. At the heart of Allin’s work is the pursuit of home and the search for the sacred. She is interested in the potential of ritual, inquiry and quest to act as catalysts for personal growth, inviting her audience to transform by transforming herself. Her art often takes her outside and involves physical labor, time spent inhabiting, activating, redefining spaces. To sate her desire for feedback, and because she believes it is through the community that we know ourselves, she builds triggers into her work that ask the audience to speak and participate.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" 1 this is a self portrait about what constrains me what keep me from my happiness i’ve been at peace in a balanced place & i’ve been wildly happy when the scales were tipped toward paradise so long as i … Continue reading